To divorce or not?

Today the wife got upset with me because I dont button  or zip up the jackets in the closet after I wear them.  She uses this to measure whether I listen to her or not.  Anyway what led to this was she wanted to rearrange the closet for the summer, then she mentioned the jacket thing.  I thought I was being helpful when I say, I’ll button it up now.

Unfortunately that led to her just going off complaining that she is not my housemaid.  Even though I never asked her to clean.  However when we get into the cleaning argument, she then says if i dont clean then who will.  Keep in mind, she decided to clean today without waiting for us to do on weekend.  She complains that I never have the initiative to clean on my own.  By the way she is a housewife while I have a job.

So then later on she says she wants a divorce and list three things why.

1) she feels I dont love her. That maybe i only just want her company.

2) she feels she is not happy living with me because she has no role or place in our apt.  Basically that I do not listen to her.

3) finally that we have too many problems between us. This stems from us fighting with each other during my dad’s dying days.  (To this day, she doesnt see her wrong during those days, i stopped explaining long time ago)

Then she starts crying saying the one she loves the most ends up hurting her the most.  Its ironic because I feel the same way about her.  I had little to no emotional support from her when I was struggling with my dad dying from cancer.  We fought those days because she feels I love my parents more then her.  Unfortunately she made that to be true due to her behavior and the subsequent physical and mental abuse I got from her.  Example: we got into a fight the night before my dad’s funeral because I told her Im going to stay at my mom’s place overnight to keep her company after the funeral.

Wife mentioned she has a lot of questions to ask about our issues, but doesnt want to ask because we might argue.  Again, I feel the same way.  I stopped trying to explain long ago how I feel because i find it pointless since her heart is ruled by insecurity and jealousy for my mom.

So here we are. She brought up divorce again.  And divorce peacefully so we both can be free.   I didnt give her an answer other then Marriage is suppose to enrich our lives and make things easier.  I dont want us to be both unhappy by staying together.  I also said, I do not have any ideas how to fix us.

Earlier today I visited my dad’s grave by myself.  I sat there and spoke to him about a few things.  One of those things was to give me the strength to divorce.  The strange thing is, later tonight at home, my wife brings it up.  I wonder if my dad is watching over me.

So now what to do?  Divorce or keep on trying but the marriage might be hopeless.  I hate tough decisions.



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